whoooah we're counting to 4

Bon Nuit MereB

It is no secret that I like a good tight. So much so that MonsieurB purchased for me a second pair of House of Holland tights at the weekend. I saw them on Lily Allen the other weekend (or they were the Chanel ones, I wasn't so close that I could decide that) and I kinda fell in love with them. They're the Mock the Stock ones and verge on indecent. Verge being the important word there. As long as they're not ACTUALLY indecent I reckon I'm alright.

And then I found some pretty Yes Natalie tights. When it comes to Christmas' and birthdays I'm constantly being asked what I want. I find the concept a little disconcerting as I feel a bit of a pillock telling people what to get me but I do know that I'm extremely fussy in a completely stupid present way so maybe people just want direction. Which means these bad boys are going on the List to Buy MademoiselleB....along with the teacup lingerie.

Things I have listened to of late which have been released in 2009:

Julian Casablancas - Not as good as the Strokes but still better than most of the dirge people attempt to pass off as music these days

Fever Ray - Is it wrong that I can't really tell the difference between this and The Knife? And I like The Knife. Although The Knife are a bit more upbeat

Animal Collective - Both the album and the EP please me. The album more so.

The xx - You know that Kylie song, 'Can't get you out of my head'? I think she went in to the future, heard 'Heart Skipped a Beat' and 'Shelter' by the xx and then came back in time and wrote that song. I really do.

Regina Spektor - I heart this album almost as much as I heart her. Serious.

And stuff that I have to listen to:

Girls

Black Lips

Grizzly Bear

Jamie T

Yo La Tengo

Fuck Buttons

and.............The Horrors. Now don't get me wrong. I hate The Horrors probably as much as you do. In fact, I saw them support Squarepusher, who was in turn supporting The Raconteurs, at the Electric Ballroom, but enough of my bragging and let me get to the point. Oh you do want to hear more. Yeah. It was preeeeeeetty freaking good. It was just as Hello Everything came out so you know, there was a lot of intense slap bass action with my jaw on the floor. Anyway, I think that's enough. Basically, The Horrors sucked. Total toilet. Complete trousers. And I wondered why they'd left Southend. But then Primary Colours came out and everyone has been losing their mind over it. Including some people whose music opinion I take on board. So I figure give it a go and then if I still hate them at least when people rave at me I can be wholehearted in my vitriol. Because I'd hate to do a half arsed job of spitting apoplectic feathers.

And finally, I'm not sure if you'd noticed but I updated my blog THREE times on Friday. Yeah. It was a snow day. And today is another stupid day where the weather sees fit to add EVEN more time on to my already hideous journey. But I'd like us all to spare a moment for MammyB. She does very worthy things at the Royal London and she is stuck and afraid she won't be able to get in tomorrow and do more worthy things so she's gonna sleep in a visitor's room so she won't miss her shift tomorrow. I know what you're thinking. Yes. MammyB is a MUCH nicer person than her daughter.

ou est le cinema?

So I saw the poster for this and was all like, "Oh Michael Cera, I would have totally done you in Juno, probably Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist and possibly even Year One if you told me you were actually in that film for a dare but another offbeat rom-com? This is TOO MUCH." And then I watched the trailer. And laughed. And thought perhaps this isn't too bad, cos you have extremely silly facial hair. And I enjoy getting behind silly facial hair.

Ma Tasse est arrivée!

Look at that - you talk about cups and one arrives on your doorstep that very afternoon. Exciting times I hear you cry - you love teacups and you love Tara McPherson. I know, I know, you are all so right. I do love both of those things. AND my limited edition teacup is number 1 / 250 which excites me no end. Because it is a number, printed on a teacup, that will probably never see the light of day because it is so precious. But I know I have it. And now you guys know I have it. And that's all that counts. Next update - me in those smalls I just blogged about. Control yourselves. My body is a frickin temple.

My Obsession

Some of the Things I very much enjoy:

Tea

Cake

Teacups

Frivolous underwear

Teapots

So, remember many moons ago I blogged about that underwear covered in cakes? Well I cracked and purchased it and it has brought me nothing but joy ever since. AND NOW I find that the same company are doing the above. The same type of underwear but with a teacup print. Now I ask you, was there ever a set of underwear made for a person? I might be cheeky and wait til the January sales though. And then be sadface to find it doesn't go in to the sale because it is just so FREAKING BRILLIANT.

Seize Ans

It is a momentous occasion. We are coming to the end of the noughties and I am nearly 27. So it is therefore with a heavy heart that I think it only right to write an open letter to my 16 year old self who will, obviously, never read it. Unless I'm actually Bladder McFly. And I don't know it yet. Which is possible. My Dad does look a bit like the Doc if he lets his hair grow out. Okay, so this renders the exercise slightly less pointless cos it is likely that I am actually a time traveller. Failing that I have been told on too many occasions that I look like Billie Piper (the higher profile the more I get it. Damn you Billie Piper for marrying Chris Evans and making me look like a pauper. And then donning a wig for that slut programme that looks a bit like my hair and then making me look like a prude. Damn you to Hell) so let's just go with I'm Rose out of Dr Who if I'm not the other one. With the Doc. And the car.

Okay. Let's start or I'll just end up writing very long paragraphs about time travel.

Dear MademoiselleB,

I think 16 was a hard year for you. Let's take it in stages shall we? You're a simpleton and it's probably best we don't confuse you.

1 - You're working up to doing your GCSEs. You think they are the most important exams of your life. They're not. But because the teachers are lying bastards you work your arse off under that misapprehension. I'll be honest - you either peak too soon or you realise that exams are massively underwhelming and quite, quite boring. The upshot of this is that you ace your exams and your parents say, "Well done". You're reeling. Actually reeling. You thought that life was like Clueless and that they'd buy you a car even though it's a whole year til you can even begin to take lessons. They don't. This starts you on an embittered road that you're still on when you're 26.

It also means that you never actually study to the best of your ability for an exam until your last year of university where you surprise yourself at what you can do if you concentrate.

2 - You're hanging out with a crowd that are called freaks. To be fair you probably do look a bit freakish. You're wearing jeans that could clothe an African nation. On the upside you don't listen to So Solid Crew and have quite good taste in music for a 16 year old, although in hindsight telling people that Limp Bizkit's interpretation of Faith is "wicked" is probably a mistake.

Which leads me to Reading Festival. Two of the mentalists that you hang around with go after your GCSE results come out. Your parents won't let you cos they're bastards and have the audacity to worry about you doing drugs, drinking alcohol and doing bad things with boys. Don't worry. You ultimately win because you get a tattoo a few months later. That's right, a permanent mark that means you are the victor and that they may have won the Reading battle but you won the angst teen war. As an aside, your sister will thank you for pushing the boundaries because she'll know exactly what she is and isn't allowed to do further down the line without fear of being thrown out. Oh yeah, your mum will threaten to cut up all your (massively baggy) clothes and throw you out. Your Dad will intervene because he's a loose canon and you're never sure if he is going to laugh at your antics or kill you. In the face.

You think you're a renegade. You're a fool. And you're doing what most 16 year olds before you did.

3 - And then you start going to the pub. The heady days of drinking vodka and coke too young will never leave you. The only thing of note here is when you did unsavoury things with a boy older than you who you told you were 18 and he then saw you and your friends "up town" in your uniform a few days later. His horrified face will always bring a little smile to your face. The rest is what I pronounce Textbook Teen. Get really drunk, do bad things, think you're cool when actually you're not.

4 - One of the mentalists gets a Proper Boyfriend who brings her to the cinema before he tries to have sex with her as opposed to just straight off tries to have sex with her. He has a badge maker (keep with me here, I know I have a tendency to wander from the point but this is actually important). She get's a badge saying she is his "top bitch" and the rest of us get badges just saying we are his "bitch". The most horrifying thing about this is that we all wear them. I can only assume that this is because we thought we were subverting a gender stereotype or some other such twaddle. The worst thing about it though is this: He's fucking pig ugly.

And then you turn 17. And nothing changes. Apart from you get a boyfriend who is better looking than all the mentalist's boyfriends. And you're extremely smug about this state of affairs.

Gros Bisous Cherie X

This Charming Girl - handmade & vintage jewellery — Long Distance Love

This Charming Girl - handmade & vintage jewellery — Long Distance Love

This kinda reminds me of me and MonsieurB if we're having a particularly hectic week.

This is why you shouldn't drink wine

"I'm in Hendon, can you pick me up? I've made friends on the train. I say that in the loosest term cos one of them is actually a massive c**t"

"WHERE AM I? Oh I'm in St Albans"

"I'm having Taytos. Cos that's how I roll"

Voicemail left:

Yeah, yeah, mmm, yeah, mmm.

The following text was also composed:

X

Do ther

Fitstt clAdding kebab X

My sister: Do you want a kebab by any chance?

Me: No. I've eaten today. I don't want a kebab. But if you want one we can stop

My sister: I don't want one.

Me: Oh. Oh dear.

This is why you're fat . com ?

I've resigned myself to putting on half a stone in one evening.

-- Posted from my iPhone

Location:London Rd,St Albans,United Kingdom

Beaucoup choses

Okay, okay so a few things have been happening in bladderland of late so it's only fair I give you an update.

This weekend I mostly watched Twilight. For the first time. And then I watched it again. On the same day. But sped through the bits where Robert Pattinson isn't being all brooding and shit. The upshot of this? Robert Pattinson would get it so hard he wouldn't be able to work for a week. And sometimes whilst I was watching it I thought, "Is this really Cedric Diggory?" FYI My favourite part is where they go and play baseball.

I have also gone a bit crazy on a spending spree. I now own this

http://www.clickforart.com/buyart/TaraMcPherson/MrWiggles

I mean it hasn't arrived yet but it's a done deal. And weirdly also makes me want to get another tattoo even more. It's also with a heavy heart that I have been buying the shit out of Borders on my lunch hour.

I also saw the Yeah Yeah Yeahs on Monday. Karen O pisses all over Florence from a great height which is a bit sadface but also makes me realise that however pure someone's voice is if they haven't got the spark live it's just not the same. Alas the support left much to be desired. Someone asked me what they were like. It is not a lie when I say that I paused for a second and after considering the best response all I could come up with was, "They sounded like a donkey on crack being cooked in the same saucepan as a lobster."

And I have discovered the joy of cheap business cards which you can write whatever you want on one side and then your details along with a picture on the other. I have been playing with the site for the last hour writing things such as

wreckhead

oh my god i feel like i have been kicked in the face by hitler

and other such ridiculousness on them along with this web address. I'm inclined to order them for the craic. Who wouldn't want a link to this site along with the most stupid quote ever? I know. I can't think of anyone either.

Aujourd'hui pour la plupart

J'ai regardé deux films et j'ai lu tout l'internet (ou je pense j'ai lu tout l'internet) et j'ai trouvé beaucoup de photos que j'aime.

Les meufs dans le bain....ca c'est pour MonsieurB.

Je l'aime

I think the real question here is, would anyone notice that I was wearing a pair of bloomers if I wore them out of the house?

Quit my job, do something I love for cash

Bleu svp

Best. Costume. Ever.

Also, guess who's big on the internets?

Gin, draughts and a near broken man

-- Posted from my iPhone

If I laugh much more

We'll have a tena lady situation on our hands. Gin. You are the bringer of good times.

-- Posted from my iPhone

AP

Did AP sponsor the MTV awards or it it just slutever on the telebox? I've been watching for about ten minutes and I've spotted Katy in melody and Beyoncé in general AP fripperies. Jealous much? Um... :-s

If I ever have an engagement party....

I think it's only fair that I perform a homage to the Beyoncé hit single ladies. Complete with hip thrust. Mmm.

-- Posted from my iPhone

cansomeonekillmenowpleasew00tyayfanks

La Nuit

I get up in the dark, I go to work, I come home in the dark. Rubbish. Why am I surprised by my need to crawl in to bed and not speak to anyone for five months?

Bellez-moi

Work that bad?

Evidently. We've resorted to drinking radioactive waste for kicks when the working day is done.

-- Posted from my iPhone

Je suis allée a Old Street et j'ai acheté

On Sunday I went out and purchased the above...

Or there's your close up :-p

Mammy C even got what Maddison and I thought was a quite, quite dead watch to work. Turns out it's a winder. It must be her thrifty Irish ways.

I have also had a hair cut. Having had a trim for the last year I asked for 1.5 inches off and said the words, "edgy" and "choppy", in the same sentence. Perhaps "Scarlett Johansson" was in there too. With "Lily Allen" thrown in for good measure. The result is growing on me. I think perhaps I have over-reacted a little but there is definitely a LOT less hair today than I had yesterday. However, at work it is a resounding success. Apparently you can see my face now which seems to be a good thing. I think perhaps some purchasing of wax is in order to keep the layers apart. Oh and backcoming to ras.

Have also caught up with the Culture Show (heart you). Only downsides being:

a - The BBC saw fit to let Toby Young have his own little segment

b - Said segment entailed him and Cosmo Landesman (hate you) in the same room at the same time on their own rendering the whole experience even more infuriating than when I read the film review section of the Sunday Times Culture magazine.

Vintage tea for two

With one of my favourite ladies. Bizarrely a teapot I only showed to Monsieur b yesterday as a "where I go this goes" declaration yesterday is on the next table. It was a wedding gift to my grandparents. Nice.

-- Posted from my iPhone

Burglarised

Lindsay! When the hell did you break in to my room for some trumped up style shoot?

"Shoes and props, Lindsay's own" liar!

Mauvaise Humeur

I was in a good mood. Now, inexplicably (well, the explanation is I overthink things and put myself in a bad mood. So basically inexplicably) in a foul mood. So when I was in a good mood I made my way over to Herr Poncetastique's site for some Paper Heart interview action.

(Half an hour has now passed since I first started writing this. Long conversations with old friends cheers you up. Factoid)

Truc

At the moment I am very much enjoying stuff. Stuff I like of late:

❤ The above photo

I would very much like her hair. Taken from Tim Burton's latest shoot. Alas, I am yet to find it in the shops. Sadface.

❤ simplycryptic.blogspot.com

He finds good photos. Some are little on the grotesque side mind.

❤ Pillowcases

I could buy these....but I reckon if I set my mind to it - and with a lot of patience - I reckon I could make some too. Perhaps that will be my xmas gifts to everyone. Hand embroidered pillowcases. Then they really will think I've totally lost the plot...

❤ Wedding Dresses

Or more specifically, browsing the internet looking at them for someone who is not really my friend and who will never know I have even browsed. It's quite fun though. Things I have learned: You can get beautiful dresses made for you in China for next to nothing. Mangey old dresses are described as vintage and the price doubled, even if it is an 80s disaster. They can be so expensive that they would equal the current deficit of Zimbabwe.

❤ Blogs/Blogging/Generally

So I can't really work out this follow malarkey on blogger (But I can outfox the IT dept and install the requisite program that "couldn't be installed" on Macs/iPhones for work. Outfox is obviously a very loose term. I think I can safely say that my boss is the winner on that one). I tend to just favourite the blogs I like - an ever increasing list of whimsy. It also means that for the people that were clever and used Tumblr from the off it doesn't clash with my Blogger. I mean I think it won't clash. I am unable to say for sure as I don't understand it at the outset. To get to the point (eventually, eventually) I follow a lovely lady who seems to be East London based. She has a plethora of photos of herself on her blog and whilst wandering around Somerset House the other weekend I thought I spotted her. I didn't say hello because I don't know her - I followed link after link and finally arrived at her blog. Later in the week she blogged and confirmed my suspicions. I left her a message saying I saw her but I don't know her and I had spotted (NOT stalked) her. Apparently I had made her day. That was nice. It's rare that I ever make anyone's day I think.

The newest blog I have found is a girl in NZ. She is so much fun that I think perhaps fun people is just a NZ thing. What's not to love about a 50s housewife party?

❤ The Citizens Band

Looks like lots of fun.

❤ Teapots

This is nothing new. I love teapots. However, on my journey home the Lite had a box on one of the pages recommending teapots. One of them was polka dots (lovely) and could be personalised (even more lovely. Imagine a teapot just for you with a message like, "You drink too much tea", or something). Price: £50 + £1 for each letter of your message. I looked at me tootsies and thought about how that is over half what I paid to have a tea pot on me permanently. Of late, I have turned over a new leaf. I am no longer the spender I was. So with the power of the internets I found a teapot which is even more exciting. Luckily for all my friends I am quite aware of my artistic restrictions and will not be throwing this in with the pillowcases for xmas. But still. If you were that way inclined and you had just moved house wouldn't it be fun to have a housewarming/crockery painting party? Obviously the painting would have to be done in the day, before the hardcore drugs, alcohol and bitches turned up.

❤ Monster Munch Packets

Old monster munch are back. And to celebrate they're giving away t shirts with the collection of monster munch packets. Fortunately I do not have a monster munch addiction that must be curbed (just pretty underwear, phizzy pig tails and teapots) but Monsieur B takes one for the team and eats them at quite an alarming rate. I know he gets no joy from it. He sits there, eating them, looking me in the eye, unblinkingly, saying (spraying monster munch obviously) "This brings me no joy Mademoiselle B. You've pushed me to this". And I nod happily thinking about how when the pristine old school monster munch t shirt comes through the door I'm going to hack it to bits with some scissors safe in the knowledge that if it all goes wrong I'll just buy another 12 pack and make him chow his way through those too.

Je suis Alan Sugar

Above = Exciting

Dizzee Rascal: I am disgusted that you have compromised the goodness of Dirty Cash. Even if you do use the words screw face.

I went in a Porsche yesterday. It was quite fun. A little uncomfortable. But then it had been a champagne evening. And oysters. Fingers crossed I win the lottery tonight. I could get quite accustomed to that lifestyle.

Someone asked me why I keep a blog the other day. My reply was that I am insanely forgetful and so it is important that I remember somehow. Also something that is troubling me is my Mac is running at 100% but it has only been on 2 days and it isn't running that many processes. Hmm.

Worrisome times.

These are indeed worrisome times. Frilly nautical knickers.

-- Posted from my iPhone

The great thing about Borders

Is that you can treat it like a library. Especially when you find a Tim Walker book unsealed for once.

-- Posted from my iPhone

Une Semaine

❤ Florence and the Machine

So it was with much luck that I trundled out of Westfield unscathed. Know this however - Topshop in there is sick. Possibly better than Oxford Street as it's not so overwhelming that you have to be totally mentally prepared to even walk in the door. Once I'd escaped the clutches of all that Communists probably despise (if ever there was a place crying out for an anti-capitalism bombing it's there) I went to the Empire for lush Florence-ness. There is no doubt that the girl can sing. And I am as in love with her as ever, that is for sure. However, there was a strange disconnect with the audience. No one was going bananas (apart from 2 gay guys who were dancing like extras out of a Eurotrash Human Traffic - I wanted to marry one), there was no one dripping with sweat, people weren't fearing for their safety because of spectators elbowing their way to the front in order to be squashed right against the railings and all in all it was a rather odd affair. I only really went bonkers during the encore which saddened me. Oh well. Guess I'll have to go and see her again.

Although she does make me rather impulsive. I bought a t shirt, cut it up and added a cape. It is my best invention so far. I also dyed my hair red. It didn't go brilliantly. More a red root/black rest of hair scenario. Whilst the dye was on my head I also has the words, "What the fuck have I done?", repeating constantly in my head. In hindsight perhaps next time I'll let the hairdresser strip my hair out first.

❤ Point Break

All you need to know is the following:

Prince Charles Cinema - Balans - Red Wine - We'll get him when he comes back in....He's not coming back - Standing Ovations - Shoutalong Quotes - DON'T YOU KNOW? I AM AN F. B. I. AGENT

❤ Curried friends

Neale forgot to book a table so we didn't end up eating til half ten. Coupled with £7 bottles of wine in the Wetherspoons it meant that we ended up eating 7 things for £7 (starter, poppadom, naan, chutney, curry, rice and I forget what the 7th thing was cos I thought I was gonna puke) and being the quintessential British late night lager lout in a curry house. And it was a whole lot of fun. The only thing that made me a bit sad face is we had just set foot in L-Town and my friend got stick for her clothes - skinny jeans, top and a scarf. It merely serves to remind me why the I stay away from the town centre. It depresses me beyond belief that a friend who comes to see me is abused before she even has a drink inside her and I am not even shocked because I am generally on the receiving end.

❤ Back Up

I have free-ed up shed loads of space on my Mac by putting about 100g worth of stuff (maybe more) on to an external HD. It also meant I cleansed my iTunes which was quite a cathartic experience. And a little bit geeky.

❤ Pigeon

Pigeons keep flying in to our windows thinking they are clouds (we think. We're not pigeons. Who knows what goes on inside the head of a pigeon. Not watch out for the window evidently) at such speed that they kill themselves and end up on our front lawn. I think this is hilarious. My sister thinks this is hilarious. I imagine Dad thinks it's hilarious although he is on clean up duty so maybe not so much. Mum does not see the funny side. No matter how many times I repeat it and laugh and ring relatives and tell them and we all laugh together.

❤ Exciting

Somewhere in the cosmos exists a large drawing of me on brown paper that has grand plans made for it. EEEXXXCCCCIIITTTTTIIIIINNNNNGGGGGG

Oh noes!

Am waiting for my companion before we go see Florence. Problem. Westfield village is right beside the station. Fuck.

-- Posted from my iPhone

Je veux, veux, veux, veux

Beaucoup.

However, after my major blowout today I do not think that crazy mad crow is a great idea. I am now the proud owner of:

Some Emma Cook shoes. Fell in love with them some time ago. Convinced myself they were impractical, ridonkulous, ott and I would basically have nowhere to wear such pretty shoes. Cue 2/3 off (oh and did I mention they're actually samples so only about er me will own them) and all of a sudden I have thought of not one, but two occasions to wear them. On a price per wear basis they're gonna be oooooookay. Also, I could have bought a bag that looked like a swan for £120, so really I didn't do too badly. In my defence it was the most butter soft white leather ever. With a Chanel type chain with white leather strung through it. I seriously considered it as only one has ever been made (Emma Cook again) but I carry a lot of shit around with me on the weekend. I'd like to think the teenious of the bag would make me carry less shit. I know it wouldn't. I just end up carrying around more bags. Or calling ahead and making sure MonsieurB had his man bag (I'm lying. I don't have to call ahead. He knows the deal)

Not one, but two Lola Rose rings. THEY WERE CHEAP OKAY. Before you silently judge me over the internet - and I know you are - I am, sorry was, coveting a massive MASSIVE Lola Rose ring in Liberty. Black Agate, silver, massive. I have walked away from it on more than one occasion because I am sensible. Then with over 80% off I find the same ring but instead of silver it's rose gold. I decide to embrace the rose gold for the price. And then to congratulate myself for my bargain hunting I bought another one. High 5 me.

And finally a Tatty Devine no longer produced knock down price brooch.

So whilst I may have gone a little bit crazy it could have been so much worse. To put this shizzle in context I walked around for a good 2 hours being sensible, asking if I really needed things, comparing stuff to things I already own, deciding in my head what I could buy from John Lewis haberdashery department to update my wardrobe and emulate what I could buy for a gazillion pounds and then I LITERALLY had a FRENZIED 20 mins where it wouldn't be unfair to say I was like a woman possessed. Elbows out, eyes on the prize, out of my way bitch I saw it first. And then the eye of the storm, a hand clutching dockets whilst I wearily ask myself what the hell I have done. Then I thought, "Fuck it. Yesterday was pay day".

Plus I spent most of yesterday enjoying a birthday present that it has taken far too long to take advantage of. Cowshed massage (Long. Good. Bruises. Shocked therapist. Peach), facial (Steam. Face. Baby's arse) and eyebrow wax (my fringe hides my eyebrows but still, I read somewhere it's like a facelift. Which judging by the helterskelter ride I'm on really the fuckers should have just been taken clean off). Mmm mmm, that is a tasty burger. Or spa day. As the case may be. Hanging out with some old favourites, doing a whole ladies who lunch hoopla. I'd like to think I could get used to it but the honest answer is I would be absolutely bored out of my skull. There is only so much the internet can offer and are there that many other ladies who lunch? Saying that, I did do the lottery today. And clearly I've not won. Cos I'd not be sat here writing this now. I'd be doing laps and a little dance like the one in Spaced when Brian takes Twist out on a date. I know what you're thinking. Hang on, that dance emulates the one from earlier in the episode where Tim thinks him and Sophie are going to get back together. And you are correct dear, dear nerds. But I think you're forgetting I have the exact same physical fitness as Brian. And like him I also have a massive penis.

Apart from the americans

This is quite fun.


Posted from my iPhone

Oooh she must be a bit cold

Pixie Lott. Touring Britain in her kickers. Well, she is from Essex I suppose.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Soho dining

With my favourite Canadian and one of my top ten favourite people

Posted from my iPhone

Bague Argent

I like this. Apparently it's 100% Silver....is this my one and only purchase that I am allowing myself for next month?

I forgot how much I love black nail polish. I have rejected it all Summer but have gone back to it in a fit of madness.

Things I have been doing of late:

❤ David Bailey Alive at Night

Having friends who used to work in PR can be useful....when it means free booze. Mainly stocked up on Grey Goose and pink grapefruit juice. May well be my drink of choice when I go to poncey bars that stock pink grapefruit juice. Ended up outside discussing the essential ingredients needed for a good high five. Apparently I am not forceful enough. Also, my crush on Stevie from Shipwrecked has died a death. He turned up. He was rude. And had really, really, really, really bad shoes. Johnny Borrell spent the night on his own and Salman Rushdie's son seems quite a nice sort of bloke. It was abundantly clear the next morning that perhaps I drank a little too much when I woke up to find that I had dropped the C bomb on Facebook not once, but twice in a status update.

❤ Liverpool

I am still recovering. I got about 3 hours sleep. What you need to know is that a man highjacked my jacket and wore it all night and then when I put it on Monday morning for work it absolutely stank of smoke and I nearly barfed. I don't think I love fags anymore. Which is sad. Cos I was Dot Cotton once upon a time. Liverpool was followed by a long, drawn out game of What Am I? on the way home. Are you smaller than a loaf of bread? Do you bring pleasure? Are you a woolly mammoth? Are you Gary?

❤ (500) Days of Summer

I liked this although the previous illustration is pretty much spot on. And I can't get You Make My Dreams out of my head.

Things I have to look forward to:

❤ LFW

❤ Cowshed

❤ Potentially hearing about a trip down the A5

Liverpool = Messy

Bon joué

Um, is this meant to put me off? Cos it doesn't. Does make me laugh though...

PS

I love Florence. So much.

Ruin

This can only end in tears (already 1 bottle of wine and 4 gins down). On the upside, work is a world away.


Post From My iPhone

Je sais pour sur que

(500) Days of Summer is going to be my new favourite film for at least a week. Just downloaded the soundtrack and I already love it. And it can't hurt that it has a French song on it (even if it is by old Carla)

Oh and I love this:

What a gyp...

Although I could easily spend £200.00. I can think of £175.00 right now. Hmm.

H H

On the Heath. Alas no bummers.

Post From My iPhone

This could be fun...

Apparently I can blog from my phone. Interesting. Dangerous.


-- Post From My iPhone

Mariage/L'Ete

I guess it's the Summer that makes everyone go wedding crazy. It's nice weather (optimum for weddings) and the older I get the more weddings are going on around Summer time. Which means there has been a lot of theoretical wedding talk going on of late. I was asked this weekend what I would wear if I got married. After some careful consideration I went with either;

a: A meringue dip dyed neon pink at the bottom; or

b: A playsuit with a massive train a la Katy Perry in the Hot n Cold video. I figure people reckon we're the same cos we have the same haircut so why fight it. That and I should really show the pins off whilst I can.

I got stung by a wasp last weekend. I cried. I am not ashamed of this.

I have fucked my blogger somehow. Apparently groundhog day is the 17th April. I really hope I can export the shit out of this. When MarBelle tells me how.

Oh and last but not least - not one but TWO moments of comedy genius this week

Numero Un

A not unhandsome man in the office who I have christened 'Dreamboat'. Which means that is the only name he has. That and when he walks past I sigh and ask those in the general vicinity, "Isn't he dreamy?". Unfortunately some people are taking me seriously and one girl went particularly batty screaming, "HE'S NOT EVEN RIPE, RIPE" (He's 22 by the way, I'm not a massive peado). My response? "I hear the less ripe they are the harder they are". Someone actually covered their ears muttering, "My ears."

Numero Deux

Apparently parma ham gives you cancer. I eat it by the truckload. Whilst musing upon this to Monsieur B. I said how much of a shitter it would be if I got cancer from ham having given up smoking. "I have Ham Cancer, it said on the packet it's been cured for 18 months. The liars! There is no cure." I have entered the Shit Phone Hall of Fame. Surely a comedy award isn't far off?

Royal Mail

Whilst languishing in an exile imposed upon me by my employers Royal Mail have been going about their duties in a most excellent fashion:

New (Old) Glasses Frames? Check

New (Old) Polka Dot Cardie? Check

New French Necklace: Visage Triste

Ah well, I only paid for it yesterday. They can't be that good all the time I suppose. Boo.

In other buying news I found this on the internets the other day. It's a shame, shame that a designer from L'pool has to sell his wares in the Americas. I won't be buying this but I like the premise a lot.

I have also been a naughty girl of late and bought things that I really shouldn't have but if they're in the sale I think it's sorta a given eh? Boots for £75 or the exact same pair but in tan for £35? You can't walk away from that. They'll blatantly do me until the pair that I really, really want (all £275 of them) are in the January sales.

I also got my hands on the She & Him album. I like it a lot even if it has a country and western feel to which inevitably ends up with a woman waling about how blue she is cos she is so very, very alone.