Question

If you're an individual that represents victims of child abuse should you enjoy this? 

On a Motherf***ing Train

I write this at 12:34 on the Eurostar to Paris. The mornin started with 2 glasses of champagne, breakfast and a sighting of Peaches Geldof (pregnant but stupid, stupid thin). I think I'm a bit wasted but when I have the above train picnic to get through it's only right I power on through.

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My Mad Fat Diary

I don't think I'm the 'demographic' for My Mad Fat Diary (it's on E4 so I'm about 15 years too old for the programming) but I still really like it. Most of all there is an acoustic version of Return of the Mack in the first episode. Of course it's brilliant. 

Woo

If you've ever wondered what Vivienne Westwood's vagina looks like go to the ICA for Juergen Teller's 'Woo' exhibition. There are other things there too that are nice. And then you can have lovely cocktails when you are done. 

HOW OLD?

The problem with starting a new job is that no one knows for sure how old you are so enivitably you are asked, down the pub, when everyone is lubricated enough to be brave enough to ask. 

Last week a 27 year old was moaning about being old. I pointed out that she really REALLY isn't old and need to chill out a bit. She asked me how old I was (I think she thought I was younger *AIRPUNCH YEEEESSSSSSS*) and when I told her I was 29 she nearly fell off her chair. 

Her: You really don't look 29

Me: Is that because I dress like a clown?

Her: Hmmmmmm. Do you use creams?

Me: *Long dramatic pause* Yes. Yes I do. A fucking lot of creams. 

I can not sleep. This has caused me to do the following completely irrational things;

1: Watch Ted. It is total toilet;

2: Get angry that I'm watching Ted on a 15in MacBook Pro as opposed to a 21inch iMac (First World Problems);

3: Read half of a book I have already decided is total toilet but I can't afford to dl another from Amazon; and finally

4: Cry because I miss my boyfriend. I saw him 3 days ago. 

I might have to neck some codeine just to pass out. 

Hypothetically Speaking...

You know when you bang on about looking for a film for ages and having difficulty finding it? You know when your DVD drive fails on your Mac and you're in the process of backing up your shit as you're off to the 'Genius Bar' the next day? You know when you find that film you've been looking for for months in your downloads? And you realise you're so fucking zeitgeist (let's call it zeitgeist as opposed to fucktardary) you downloaded it and you forgot about it? That.

More importantly, has anyone had a DVD drive fail on an iMac? Mine has. Does this mean a shiny new slim iMac? Does it? DOES IT? *doubts it*