Réalisateur

In a completely unprecedented happening I'm updating 3 times in as many days. Wow. I must be bored.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00ccgp3

Watch this. Seriously. It'll probably be gone soon so if it is I'll just tell you what it is....BBC 4's Imagine: Werner Herzog. He's basically the battiest man you'll ever come across. My personal highlights are continuing his interview with Mark Kermode after he'd been shot and his whole performance in Julien Donkey Boy (if you haven't see that film you should).

Also watched Cashback this weekend. It's alright. Probably worth a watch because it's so beautifully shot. Last time I went to the Spread Eagle though I wasn't aware of strippers on the stage. Also, if you've ever had the misfortune to work in a supermarket you'll totally empathise. I had the pleasure of an 8 week honeymoon with the arse smacking branded supermarket. Worst 8 weeks of my life. Being home from uni and not being able to get a job sucks. It was made bearable by the fact that I was completely cained off my face the whole time I was on the premises. It also meant I didn't do any work. I mainly sat cross legged on the floor in the biscuit aisle daring myself to open a packet and stuff my face. Never did though.

Had another crazy dream last night. Basically I ended up giving birth with the intention of giving the baby away Juno style. Unfortunately I had the baby a bit premature and when the parents came they didn't want it anymore. Apparently it was too small. I did my best to convince them that he'd grow (cos that's what babies do) but they weren't having any of it. Then my parents found out that I'd given birth (clearly in Dreamland I didn't waddle around with a massive bump) and they were over the moon. They came and named him and told me I was mental to be giving him away. I responded by going down the pub as I had arranged to go down before I went in to labour (and the pub comes before labour in Dreamland too obviously). Got down there and met up with some bloke who I used to work with who told me all about his trip to Texas whilst dressed as a cowboy. Then I told him I'd just given birth. He was disgusted. So I went back to the hospital and the baby grew on me a bit and then I woke up.

And so....drum roll please.....this means.....

To see a baby in your dream, signifies innocence, warmth and new beginnings. To dream of an extremely small baby, symbolizes your helplessness and your fears of letting others become aware of your vulnerabilities and incompetence. Happiness. Rebirth. Trust.

Or - I should never have read Diablo Cody's memoir or looked at pictures of Texas before I go to sleep.

And finally. I have been such a good lady this weekend. I cleared out some of my wardrobe and sent two massive black bin liners of clothes to the charity shop. The clearing out process went something like,

No, that black and white stripy jumper does not make you look like a beatnick. You look like a dumpy cat burglar
and
No, that black and white stripy top does not make you look like a pirate but a squat French person
and
No, that skirt you bought off of Ebay in a frenzy because it had a picture of a flamingo on it that is actually a size 22 and you wear as a dress does not look good on you. Even if you put a belt round it. You look like you've been attacked by a sack with fashion aspirations.

You get the idea. Also, found ten, count them, TEN lighters in my room. I will never buy a lighter again.