Sunday, February 10, 2008

Je couche comme je suis morte apparemment

You know that you really have no clue about how to look after your money when you buy a second hand psp Terminator 3 game to make it in to an earring. Yes. I did that. What a fucking idiot.

Anyway, I've been puking like something out of the Exorcist most of the day so this will probably be brief. I say probably because I really couldn't tell you when the next attack of the vom is coming. AND I'm in the house on my own. I feel rather sorry for myself quite frankly.

This week I mostly.....

1 - Went to the new Larry Clark exhibition (obviously when I say went I mean got taken to the opening because there is no way I am important enough to swing an invitation to something like that. I should be that important though). My chaperone was, as always, delightful. However, did have the misfortune to bump in to perhaps the most irritating person in the world. I know her through a friend and she is in Art PR. I tend to associate Art PR with Paris Hilton because the exact same question about the two subjects springs to mind.......And your purpose is?? I'd say she is lovely girl but she isn't. The first thing she said to me was something along the lines of how are you in here. I know. Put me in my place didn't she. Trollop. Obviously I told her I had friends in high places. I then proceeded to try and be as common as possible to piss her off. My particular highlights were

Telling her about the "massive cock made out of wood on Brighton beach. Fauking hilarious" (Not fucking. I'm far too posh for that sort of language)

Saying that Larry Clark was generally dressed like a scrotum. 
Her: Did you just say scrotum?
Me: Yes. It's slang at home for tramp. (Continuing on whilst turning away and saying rather airily...) Can be abbreviated to scrot though. 

Once again I used my disgusting addiction to cancer sticks to end a conversation. This time it worked as she doesn't smoke. The conversation ended with her saying, "We'll do something......oh and I sometimes stalk you on facebook." First off, WTF and all that internet shortening geek malarkey and secondly, this is the girl (not feminist. More closing the gender equality gap) that hacked  her ex's FB to see if he was cheating or not. You DO NOT want to be told by someone like that that they're sometimes stalking you on facebook. 

2 - Went out for one of my favourite lady's birthday. Alas, I was not a complete drunk degenerate but I did get pretty shit faced. To the point where I was told by another girl who I shared a room with that I sleep like I'm dead. Nice. 

Thats enough now. I'm off to try and have a little sleepy without being rudely awoken by stomach contractions akin to the pain of when someone is about to squeeze out triplets (or at least I imagine that is how painful it is).

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