Monday, June 29, 2009

Miss Bladder in "Put Some Clothes On" Shocker


It is being wildly reported that MissB, exponent of the wear as little clothes as possible movement, has advised Lily Allen to "put on a top underneath that jumpsuit". Whilst MissB wasn't at Glastonbury muttering something like, "How come all the fucking teepees sold out so quickly?", it seems word travels fast on the jump/playsuit grapevine.

Upon seeing Lily a source close to MissB said, "She emailed me and said she liked the wig but she really does need to put on a top underneath that playsuit. Needless to say I was so shocked I actually almost choked. Then I read the next line - how do I go about getting a third nipple? Then I actually did choke"

The close friend of MissB says that they fear she is suffering from Manchesteritus. A known condition whereby you are mean and judgmental about the clothing of others. MissB was spotted falling out of a bar in the Northern quarter slurring, "Christ the booze is cheap up here. But that fucking DJ is younger than my last period". Apparently neither was a lie.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Visage

I don't know why you care so much about your poker face. Because we are all, and I mean all, looking at your vagina. And not in a good way. 

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Les Fleurs qui parlent

 Oh and you should see this

Favourite: Viktor & Rolf closely followed by Jean Paul Gaultier. And isn't that Stephen Jones with Christian? Hmmm. 

Monday, June 22, 2009

Salut/Bonjour/Bonsoir

❤ Hello new photos from Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland. I am such a Wonderland slut. I like the original drawings by John Tenniel and the Disney version because they are all trippy colourful. And now look at this. Tell me. What's NOT to love about the Mad Hatter, the White Queen (mmm, yes, please see 'Through the Looking Glass' Chapter One, Looking-Glass House) and the Queen of Hearts? Fuck. It had better be good. 

❤ Hello High 5-ing my mum in the supermarket because I had spent ten long minutes lamenting how Nice biscuits don't seem to come on their own and then wandering down the biscuit aisle to find them for the princely sum of 46p. "High 5 Mum"    "What? Oh, High 5"   with a big smack. Has the biscuit aisle ever seen such joy?

❤ Hello having to hug people who are leaving work for 3 months because they come over and say, "You're not escaping a hug. Everyone else has had one". Eugh, shudder, ick. I love the hugs. I clamber all over Monsieur B. I hug the hell out of CowTack. I don't love the hugs with people who don't know well enough to tell me every tattoo and piercing I have. 

❤ Hello working from home a lot at the moment because work is manic and there aren't just enough hours in the day. Hello late nights and big cups of tea. Hello to mad work props yo. 

Saturday, June 20, 2009

If you don't act right at dinner I'll stab you in the face


Deux Semaines Dans Ma Vie


80s Inspired Breakfast



Blind Lady


Wagamama is so much better when you haven't eaten it in two and a half years. Chicken Tama Rice. Mmm mmm. 


And a bespoke Monsieur B creation always brightens your day. 

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Je te dis que je vraiment vraiment veux

I so absolutely want the sequin playsuit that Geri Halliwell wears in the Wannabe video that I'd even consider eating a block of cheese. A big block. I'm talking 25og here. 

I truly love looking like I've  been pulled through a hedge backwards. I think this accessory would complete the look. I'm actually thinking about buying this for a wedding I'm going to. I might tell everyone my name is Isabella for the day. That would be fun. But a bit weird. 


And the below appeals to me because it has originalish drawings. Oh and be under no illusion that I am going to have an Alice in Wonderland kitchen one day. And it will actually be the most brilliant thing ever. 




Monday, June 15, 2009

AIME/DETESTE

I like and hate Flickr in equal measure. I appreciate the beautifulness but it makes me wistful for being able to take good photos and for going to places that owing to time/money constraints I won't see until forever away. 


I used to love smoking and tea. If she put up a collage of old Eastender's characters she'd have described my life circa 2001:




I don't know why:




Do you reckon these two are on the look out for a new best friend? Cos anyone that goes as 9/11 complete with matching tower has to be a lot of fun:


Soldat

Tinker Tailor Toy Soldier. Or something

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Look at what you could have won...


♥ Illustration Monkey
♥ 80s Themed Breakfast
♥ Papers on Demand
♥ Gin Giver
♥ Placating Egg Appropriator 
♥ Queue-r
♥ Chef
♥ Sometime Guerilla Remote Hogger

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Incommunicado

If quite a large man tells you you don't need to lose weight to you do you:

- Go out and buy a years worth of Slimfast
- Wonder if he thinks that he is an appropriate weight, then go out and buy a years worth of Slimfast
- Eat a carrot in front of his face to defy him.