Tuesday, July 31, 2012

So we went to Tanks at the Tate on Sunday. Even though MonsieurB has the internal compass of a polar bear gone wrong in his mind tank and ending up in Mexico we some how ended up in the right place (through the front door - what a surprise - NOT through a secret trap door in the pavement which was how it was initially sold). 

Whilst I'm happy I went I have to admit I found them cold and a bit oppressive and was on the verge of freaking out in Lis Rhodes' room. Although once I had found my bearings (it's really, really dark in there) I quite enjoyed it. As the photograph will attest to. I'm the massive one without the umbrella.

Then we went in to a room where interpretive dancers were rehearsing. And it was all going quite well. Until I looked at one of the dancers and he looked EXACTLY like Senor Chang from Community. Imagine Senor Chang in tracksuit bottoms and a do-rag dancing interpretively to classical music and I DEFY you not to fall about laughing. And snort in an uncouth manner. Which is what I did for 30 seconds until I had to leave because it was all too much.

Don't say I'm not cultured. 

Monday, July 23, 2012

Crotch Shot

Don't ask why I was watching this because the answer will be, "Union Jack research". No I don't know why I decided to seek out Union Jack based clothing either. 

More to the point - HOW MANY crotch shots of young girls can there be in 4 minutes and 20 seconds? Enough for me to stop looking at Union Jacks and go, "Hang on a minute. There's a few too many crotch shots in here for my liking". 

Although it's nice to see they saved the best until last. Sporty gets no love (presumably because she has clothes on) until the end. Then her vagina is almost like a religious experience with all that light and whatnot. 

Wednesday, July 18, 2012


I absolutely do not need any more bras. Well, I sort of do as the girls have shrunk. But it's not dire straits. And really most women wear the wrong bra size where as what bras I *do* have that fit are really, really good (To the point where MonsieurB once commented, "Your tits are not that big. Those fucking bras are contravening the Misrepresentation Act").

And yet when the 'Final Reductions' email comes through I hurried to buy another bra as it was only £30. THIRTY QUID. And then wrote myself a note that can be put in with your delivery (I assume from a star crossed lover). It said, "You deserve this support". Then I cackled at my brilliantness. Then I hit x and closed the window and said goodbye to my support. Saving is hard sometimes. 

Monday, July 09, 2012


Today I looked like poo at work

but a girl told me I always looked nice. Instead of accepting the compliment I shouted, "YOU LIE!". I guess 05:30 starts are par for the course for her as she has a baby. I, on the other hand, do not.