Wednesday, August 13, 2008


And so my first full night back from the Motherland should have probably been one of rest and recuperation....but then my uni friends decided to come to the Big Smoke and it would have been quite rude not to get smashed. I suppose the right thing to say is something like, "Oh my God, I'm never drinking on a school night again I feel awful", like Michael emailed me today but I didn't feel that bad. Obviously I had a bar of chocolate and a can of coke for breakfast and I looked like total shit (my boss asked me what time I got to bed at and if the gig was any good. He also let me get away with wearing footwear that straddles both the shoe and trainer line. I think he secretly likes the fact that I come in sailing just close enough to the wind to be appropriate but still far enough away from appropriate for people to say to me, "Leopard print tights and grey wedges....You're so crazy!").

I think the reason I love seeing my uni friends is that I just do not stop laughing when we're together. Not only are they hilarious in their own right but we inevitably end up reminiscing about when we lived together and the shenanigans we used to get up to. It's also amazing the things you forget. We were discussing our drunken highlights and I'd actually managed to forget the morning Chris woke up in the back of a car which was locked on the other side of Leicester and how no idea how he ended up there. Obviously the owner wasn't impressed and when he found him, several hours later, kept saying, "But it was locked. You were in the car. And it was locked", over and over again. The story gets all the more surreal when he frog marched Chris to the cash point so he could give him the money for it to be valeted but gave him a clean shirt and dropped him back at the house. Although when Chris was sat in his living room waiting for him to find him a shirt he went to pet the man's dog (not a euphemism for something filthy) the man turned around and just said, "NO". Obviously there are other highlights and it's difficult to choose just one but I think that one is definitely up there....Although the story of the toilet is definitely quite surreal. Me and the boys had been out the night before and I woke up the next morning vowing to never go to Fan Club (or as we affectionately called it, Fanny) again and opened my bedroom door to get the much needed pint of water and proceeded to trip over a toilet. Yes. An actual toilet. Left outside my bedroom door like a little present. None of us can remember finding it, much less bringing it back to the house. The irony of the whole situation being when we decided to move it a week later (we were students...) none of us had the strength to pick it up and carry it down the hall. How the fuck we managed to drag it from wherever we found it I don't know but I think we were pushing the student stealing boundaries. Traffic cones are so passé.

My favourite bit of last night though was Alex getting totally shitfaced whilst her fiancé sat and watched her hug us all and say things like, "Do you remember when we used to drink ourselves stupid at home before went out so it'd be a cheap night and Chris would get so drunk he'd projectile vomit on the way to wherever we were going?" (I think it is becoming very obvious, very quickly that my drinking habits are actually quite acceptable when compared to the East Park Road Massive) and make an appalled face. My how these things come back to bite you in the arse....On the way to the tube she shouts, "Hang on, carry on walking", whilst she stops off in a door way on Longacre, voms a little, comes out of the doorway and announces, "I've just been sick!" I fucking love that woman.

Today I read about this

Jamie Livingstone decided to take one photo a day on a Polaroid for no reason really other than he wanted to. Now his friend has put them up on a blog. No explanation, just photos. If you google it you'll find the story but I've been looking at the photos and it's actually completely mesmerising. I love photos anyway, even if I don't know anyone in them. I spend a lot of time on Flickr. They do end up telling a story which is compelling and sad although I'm sure at the time he thought that no one would be interested in his day to day life because everyone thinks their day to day life is incredibly dull but to an outsider it probably isn't. I should stop rambling and just let you decide though.


this is actually one of the funniest things I've seen in absolutely ages. I think my favourite is a toss up between the massage one and the geek one. Keeps me entertained anyway.

And finally, why the fuckedy fuck is fucking Peaches Geldof front page news cos she went to Vegas and got married to some massive chin? Tell you what Peaches. Why don't you fuck off to AmericaLand and stay there with your massive chin? Nothing would please me more than not having to see your stupid OD face polluting my vision when you make some massive cock up that is drugs related.

Sorry. That was quite venomous wasn't it? She really is rather irritating though is she not?

No comments: