Monday, February 02, 2009

Bonne Nouvelle Année (Je suis desolée que je suis un peu en retard)

It has been too long since I have properly posted and to go through everything I have done since then would mean that we'd be here forever. And ever. An abridged version would go thusly:

Was strangely moved by midnight mass. May have had something to do with the strangely moving vodka I guzzled all evening. Presents etc. Always pleasing. It would be mean to say which presents I liked the most so I won't. I'll just say well done M. Bladder and ma soeur.

Ended up in some sort of red wine marathon with my Father. It was an accident but when you have a magnum of red wine what are you going to do? I managed to drink him under the table. But suffered. I ended up the only one still awake at the heinous time of 8pm. Which meant I got to watch the Nativity Decoded. All 2 hours of it. In peace. On the Lord's birthday. Not just the Lord's day. His birthday. Basically, he was the bastard offspring of the victim of rape. Yeah. Imagine finding THAT out on your birthday. Thanks Channel 4. No wonder you're fucked for money. You don't cross the Big Man and get away with it.

A few days after Christmas went to the supermarket with Ma. Remember she has to be chaperoned so she doesn't end up down the whoops! aisle buying roadkill grouse cos it's reduced to £50 from £55. Or something. Obviously I wasn't doing my job properly because I was packing the bags and HOT CROSS BUNS fell in to my hands. ON THE 28TH OF DECEMBER. I was absolutely outraged. And the supermarket man knew it too. I'm not going to say the name of the supermarket. But it rhymes with Rainsburys. I was so shocked and appalled I held the offending item aloft, waving it around above my head and declared,


It was the rainsbury's man's turn to look appalled. That's right. I am a messenger for Christ.

New Year
It could be said that there was too much gin involved. Put it this way - we didn't get out of bed until 4pm. But then there is never such a thing as too much gin.

The next few days immediately post new year were spent in a most enjoyable fashion which made me sad face to get back on the train but there is no point lamenting something you have no control over. That and I started laughing every time I thought of cowtack's boyfriend eating a burger so hot he cried. And had to sign a disclaimer saying if he died no one would sue on his behalf before he ate it. Factoid.

Post New Year
I didn't go back to work til the 5th January. It was hard going back. Mainly because I've discovered I hate working. Unless it involves shopping for other people. I wouldn't mind that sort of job. But I doubt people are looking for people to spend their money for them in the middle of a credit crunch.

I'm also saving which renders me quite poor. So I'm selling stuff I hate on Ebay and rediscovering clothes I've not worn in a 100 years. It's actually quite fun. It also means I'm making demands for my birthday already. My sister is also making demands for her birthday. One necklace made of wood showing two hands put together to make a heart to be precise. When she stated she wanted it I put on my spazz voice (don't pretend you don't know what I mean) and said, "Is that cos you're deaf?". Her reply? "What?" It's the little things that make me laugh you know.

Things that I think I might do this year -

1. Learn to knit. So I can make very long scarves with pompoms on the end. And can say it's nanageddon over and over.
2. Buy a cheap sewing machine so I can buy material and make awful skirts and tops only I would wear.
3. Bake more.

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