Yesterday Monsieur B. and I went for a day in the Big Smoke. Having wandered around the place for a while it was decided we should eat. Mainly cos it was 3 in the afternoon. MB suggested a place which he described to me as "having no cutlery". I think that perhaps this was a test to see just how much of a pikey I am. True to form I threw down the gauntlet and agreed to eat in such a place. Once in, we perused the menu. I decided to be restrained and a lady. And went for a half slab (slab. Lovely) of baby back ribs. MB went for broke - Combo, 1/2 chicken, pulled pork and grilled smoke sausages.
Unfortunately, the nice lady behind the counter foiled my attempt to be a lady.
"Half slab? We've got an offer on, a whole slab for £10 if you get a refillable soft drink". Sold. To the woman who is already a pikey because she has agreed to eat in a restaurant with no cutlery and has just sealed the deal by DOUBLING her order because it means her drink will be 5p and she'll get more meat. Please see below.
I'm sorry. It only occurred to me take a photo of our food when I'd eaten two ribs. But basically, it was a fucking lot of food. A. Lot. Yes. That's a sausage on the right hand side on a ford. That's half a chicken on MB's tray. And the pulled pork is being hidden by the coleslaw. What is pulled pork I hear you cry? Well, it's very nice. And I think it might be pork pulled off the pig. With abandon. Write in if I'm wrong. Oh and note the cutlery. I cracked. And said, "Is there *really* no cutlery?"
This is my favourite. The end. Just a pile of bones and nothing else really touched on my tray (nope, no plates). And some tooth picks. Which always denotes class.
MB's eyes were a bit bigger than his belly. He put in a good effort but ultimately it's not nice to watch a grown man sweat and see his eyes dilate and it's not due to narcotics. It is quite funny though.
Oh and Miss Coleslaw (see how it is so apt) - I hear you. But I gots to give him props for almost eating a Bodean Combo.