Saturday, September 24, 2011

I don't like Girls Aloud

But I do like Nicola Roberts' hair. And her track that is basically Diplo with her warbling all over the top. And it is viewing that video that brought me to this

Obviously I've never directed a music video in my life. And nor have I starred in one. But there is something that I suspect to be true and that is when you are making a video for a band it's probably a good idea to have the whole band in the video. At the very least they should get them all in together when it's a group shot.

The advent of Girls Aloud pretty much passed me by but every time 'Sound of the Underground' comes on television MonsieurB always comments how cruel they've been to give Nicola no time at all as she's not conventionally pretty and she was quite, quite ginger at the outset.

I assumed as they got bigger this would change. But no. Now. This is the first and last time I will ask you to do this but please watch the above Girls Aloud video.

Done? Sorry. I'll buy you a drink the next time I see you to apologise. Now. Did you notice how Nicola was BARELY in the video? How when it was a group shot the MOST you saw of her was a bit of her dress or an arm? I swear down and I will stand by this - the LIGHT or CANDLESTICK on the left hand side of the shot gets more time than she does. Seriously. It really fucking does. What sort of shoddy fucking video is that? If I was Nicola I'd be s-c-r-e-w-i-n-g. Hard.

I can only assume this is because either;

1: She can't keep time with the other so let's just bung her on the end and show an arm every now and then; and/or
2: Her 'At Rest' face is actually 'Screwface' and no tweenie wants to see a screwface.

I reckon it's probably a bit of both. Thankfully this problem has been rectified in the video for the Diplo track. I guess they decided they couldn't have an early single from her album without her in it and as it's such a banger they kinda HAVE to release it to get any sales.

So what they do? Use cutaways to ras, get in a load of decent dancers and only have the camera on her for a maximum of 2 seconds. Apart from when she's putting her arse in the air and wiggling it around. That can stay like that for as long as they see fit. Yes it can.

(And to prove my point about the dancing and it being a banger please see below)

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